Post Exam Fever


While I’m focusing 101% to my system implementation checklist at work, I couldn't help but to overheard a conversation. One of them was discussing her child's recent completion of the placement exam for standard 1. Yes, you read that right, standard 1. It seems that the education system in our country is becoming increasingly absurd, with even preschoolers having to take exams.


I must admit that I used to be a "kiasu" mom too (and perhaps still am), proud of my children's academic achievements. However, my first born was my eye opener about not posting academic accomplishments on social media. He asked me if I would still be proud of him even if he didn't get straight A's and about being empathy to children who don't excel academically.


My criticism of the education system started way back from primary school phase. I wasn’t the top student or a teacher's pet, I wasn't the most adorable, cutest child (though I turned out to be a  stylish "makcik" self-proclaimed). The school I where I attended had divided students based on their academic performance, and to make matters worse, the seating arrangement was also based on these sequence. This resulted in the smart students getting smarter while the less academically inclined ones struggled to improve. I was consistently among the last 10 instead of Top 10..but my grades were good enough to keep me in the First class throughout the primary school.


I take pride in rewarding my kids for their effort, not just their results. Some may argue that I would do the same if my children were top achievers, but my little rascals are far more intelligent than their mom and dad combined. 


I always prioritize the children’s well-being whenever they are sitting for important exams. I offer them my moral support. Recently, Haziq had his his crucial PT3 exam.. in which while waiting at the school cafe, I overheard a conversation from one of the mother who shared how much she had invested in extra tuition and additional classes to ensure her daughter excelled in the test. My jaw dropped agak besar. I couldn't help but wonder why some parents put so much pressure on their children. Are they genuinely afraid their children will become failures based on their test scores? Seriously?

Or perhaps it's the immense pressure from family and friends, making them feel embarrassed when asked about their child's studies and comparing them to other children who are supposedly doing better. Deng.


I may not have raised my children in the same way as others. And yes, I am against to boarding school. While some feeling entitled for attending prestigious local boarding schools, MRSM, TKC, STAR, Tunku Jaafar, I am not in that race. Some may argue that I'm not providing the best for my children, but my focus is on giving them the freedom to grow (though sometimes it's just a facade winks), and instilling Islamic knowledge in them, an opportunity I didn't have when I was their age. I mostly admire parents who send their kids to religious schools like Maahad, wondering why I haven't done the same (sorry Nana has this "detachment" ).


I sincerely hope and pray that my children will never adopt the mindset of pressuring my grandchildren to excel academically (nenek slay!) Because if they do, no matter how successful they become, I will always consider it a personal failure.

I will love my children for who they are, not for what society expects them to be.


To Haziq,

There is still a long road ahead. Adab sebelum ilmu. Manners matters.


To Nazurah and Hazim, congratulations on your many A's.

Alhamdulillah, I am grateful that my children have achieved excellent results without me having to pressure them. Pandai2 lah ko nak.. Kalau excel is a bonus alhamdulillah. 


Oops, there I go, bragging like other parents. But then again.. this is my personal preference. I have nothing against boarding or elite school. But perhaps the allocation & selection can be more fairly done. There are outskirts children who I think deserve it more than the anak2 alumni.


Honest brutal, nothing is fair in this world.

Comments

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