I left the b-pump at home and my blouse is already wet (thanks to the jacket!)
p/s: breastfeeding is AWESOME!!!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
My mother, I live in her dream. Being the only daughter of four who has never attended formal education makes her personality totally different from her siblings. Yes, she didn’t attend school like the rest of her sisters but with her own will, she can read & write. Most of all, she has successfully raised her 4 children!
Not a single trait from my mother genetically in me.. (This includes both physiological and physical he he..)
I remember how my mother would look up to the “rich” relative and will isolate herself from them in any gathering. Her common statement would be something like “Oh tak boleh, dia org itu orang kaya, Nana tak boleh jadi macam tu..” so I grew up with a resolution that I would prove her wrong.
I live and become who I am today because of her prayers. I’d remember she dreamt of her children wearing office attire (“kerja opis” )and driving cars as she didn’t put such a high expectation on her children..(oh mak!). When I grew up, her definition of “rich-people-surrounding-us” almost makes me laughed out loud (LOL). I have friends whose father is one of the ministers in the country, but still being haunted by these rich relative.
I was so proud of myself (ehem! ehem!) when I scored many A’s through out the many formal exams.. but she still being humble and had never once proudly saying out loud of my “success” story . During the adolescent years, she would pray that I will never date someone rich (that explains the broken relationship before meeting my hubby.. he he..) She likes to remind me of “Enggang and pipit” story.. However I have prove her wrong, you can be treated badly even by not-so-rich people.
She would be skeptical if I teasingly said that I’d go to London for my holidays, I’d drive big cars etc. I knew she was half hearted when I turned down the offer of being an air crew (stewardess lah.. not pilot). To me air hostess is a short cut (I didn’t say the job is easy ya cousin!) to a glamorous and 4 digit pay in a comparison to 4-5 years attending classes for a ply of scroll. It doesn’t takes me to be one to have Ferragamo on my feet, to have my things packed Gucci, to count the time in Rolex and many more (alhamdulillah..). Oh yes, I may not be a “fashionista” or a high socialite with expensive dress wrapped on me… but mak, …I don’t even have to marry one rich man or even depend on one…I am proud that with God swt will I am able to contribute financially in the family.
I tried my best to hide my problems and tears from mak (and my other half). I do not wish to add her more tears.
To mak, I wish I can repay for every prayer and every hopes you have on your children (especially me!) .. hope none of your prayers are unanswered. I hope you can forgive me for every mistake and every tear drops that I cause you (mintak ampun mak). I thank you for taking care of me (and my children) every time I got sick.. and yes, I was told you were more in pain every time I was in labor!
To mak, I admit that I have never show my love, by hugging or giving you a kiss or two… but my prayers are always with you (and I am still living in your dream).
To my mother in law, mama: thank you for accepting me in your family and for every prayer and belief that you had in me in marrying your son. I may not be the best daughter in law but I will never stop of trying to be one. Thank you for standing by me during my difficult time.
Selamat Hari ibu buat mak & mama.
P/s: My hopes of being a mother is simple, I pray for my children to have an education, to instill with akidah, to equipped themselves with knowledge, in the best health and wealth and for my children to live a better life than I am. Doa ibu buat Haziq, Nazurah & Hazim.