Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Post Exam Fever

While I was busy with my system implementation checklist, I can’t help but to listen to few female’s colleague’s conversation. Her kid’s has just finished seating for standard 1 placement exam. Yup, standard 1. The country’s education system is getting ridiculous. Even pre-school has exams! 


I was once a kiasu mom too (still kot?), proud that ma kid did well with their studies. Wake up call was when my eldest whispered to me not to post their academic achievement in social media .  ‘Ibu, would you still be proud of me if I don’t get straight A’s’ and he added by saying ‘..have you ever think how other kids who don’t excel in their study feel about all this’.


I have begun criticizing about the education system since my primary school days. Yup, I was not a brilliant , was never a teacher’s pet coz I wasn’t a cute kid (though I end up to be a cun makcik *perasan*). Back in my school, the pupils were divided into classes based on results. Matters worse when they also arranged the seating position based on it. Hence the clever getting cleverer, the less smart doesn’t improve much. I am always amongst the last 10 in a class of 40 pupil ;p Even though I wasn’t really brilliant, my grades were sufficient enough for me to stay in the first out of 6 classes. And this lasted till Standard 6.


Year end is the time where parents starts posting pictures of their children’s receiving the award for the excellent year end achievement. I take pride that I reward my kids for their effort, not for their results. Some may say I would do the same too if my kids were to excel in their studies. Believe me, my three ding dong are way too smart compares to their mom and dad. Their result is enough to cause damage to my wallet if I were to reward them by number of A’s obtained.


I will always leave my work behind and provide morale support when my children are seating for their big exam. Recently when Haziq sat for his big PT3 exam, the parents will gather at one corner of the school while waiting for the kids. During the conversation, one of the mom was telling me how much she has invested for the extra tuition and additional classes to ensure the daughter score with flying colours.  I mean seriously???,That much$$$$$ I wonder what goes on in certain households where parents apply pressure on their children to do well in their studies. Welcome to the exam oriented nation.


Are these parents really worried that their children will become failures, judging them from their test scores at this age? 

Or is it that you are immensely pressured by family and friends that their children are doing better than yours, and you're embarrassed when they ask you about your child's studies?

What is wrong with you?


I may have not raised my children well. And ‘yes’ I am against boarding school. Whilst parents are in a competition for the prestigious local boarding school..like MRSM, TKC, STAR, Tunku Jaafar etc, I don’t even have to be in that race. Some may say I’m not providing the best for my children but I’m giving them all the freedom (konon lah ;p)…and my priority is to instill the Islamic knowledge for them since I don’t have the kind of opportunity when I was their age. And yes, I look up to parents who sent their kids to religious school like Maahad & all, ( why Nana didn't send anak sana eh? errr... I am having ‘detachment’ issue to let my kids go ;p )


I hope and pray none of my children will have this mindset of pressuring their kids to excel in their studies. Because if that happens, no matter how successful they may be, I will still think I've failed.


I’m going to love my children for what they are, and not what other people expect them to be.


To Haziq,

I am already contented with your 6A’s from the PT3. I know you are very upset that for the first time you didn’t get straight A’s. But that is life my son.


To Nazurah, & Hazim congratulations for the many A’s & top 20 among 240++ students in the final exam.


Alhamdulillah that I am still blessed with many A’s despite that I don’t have to pressure the kids.

Oh wait. There I go bragging like other parents.


Friday, June 17, 2016

Home mum..Working mum

There were much debate about working mum vs home managers (my term to full time housewife).

Honestly, Both play an important role to the family institution. Whilst I don't deny the fact that home managers task are very taxing, tiring, non-glamourous nor fancy and no break in between, I stand corrected that working mum too has its own challenges.

Office is no playground to some. We struggle, we work our ass, we get bashing from the bosses, the client/users counter part. And at the same time we held a very big responsibility to the downlines reporting to us. We take care of their well being, their charity and support their career path.

Performing solat on time is almost impossible if you are not brave enough to excuse yourself and walk away from all the stressful (unnecessary) meetings. But I pledge that this is the utmost priority. Toilet break is cut to the shortest time possible. Lunch break? Its an indulgence to have an out of office lunch with friends. Well this may not be applicable to the government who enjoy a 2 hours break on Friday but this one hour is the most looking forward moment for someone like me. Hardly leave home from the office while the sun is still up. However, Having the kids welcoming me , hugging me after a long day is a BIG reward (thank you anak2 ibu).

I salute to those women who has raised the bar by excelling both in working & managing house chores without any assistant (aka bibik).

Regardless if you are working or stay home mum, it will still the same mum that the kids will look for.

.. Homework, mum
.. Jadual sekolah, mum
.. Anak demam, mum
.. PTA meeting, mum
.. Pensil hilang, mum
Last minute arts stuff for school, mum.

Let's not argue who is more challenging. Lets strive towards being a better mum to our kids. Focus on our children. No need to debate over petty issue.

Whether you're worried, stressed or hurting, turn to the Almighty with full conviction. Talk to Him. May Allah ease our woes & suffering.

There, I said it.

Monday, November 23, 2015

Me English No Good

Scene 1
Cikgu   : Puan, puan kena cakap Bahasa Malaysia dengan anak puan.
Me       : Kenapa cikgu?
Cikgu   : Result BM dia sentiasa teruk. Mungkin kalau cakap BM dengan dia boleh bantu sikit.
Me       : Cikgu, saya memang cakap BM sebab English saya sendiri pun teruk. Betul, tak tipu.

Scene 2
A conversation after UPSR BM paper....
Me     : How was the test?
Me son : So so. By the way what is 'jururawat' ibu?
Me      : What was your guess? (Biar betul dia ni)

Scene 3
Haziq    :  Ibu, there's a MAJOR improvement for my BM result!
Me        : (hati berbunga-bunga) Owh ye ke? What did you get?
Haziq    : Last time was 'E', now I got a 'D'
Me       : (long paused dalam hati 'eh?')
Nazurah : Same here mummy, there's an improvement for mine as well
Me        : Nazurah dapat apa?
Nazurah : From 'D' to 'C'
Me        : alhamdulillah for both of your results (while scratching head)

Scene 4
Me Son : Ibu, do you use BM when you talk to yourself, or do you use English like me?
Me        : Boleh tanya benda lain tak?
(I swear I used to ask the same question to my English speaking friend back in secondary school)

Alhamdulillah. The kid's English is far better than mine, be it their grammar or vocabulary. I swear I speak Malay with them most of the time (Me no english slang fancy parents. Me england no good). No tipu. You can tell how terrible my english is just by reading this blog. And like my son said, I need to enrich my vocabulary.

My Bahasa Arab? Hancus.

We miss you terribly

I am the most horrible daughter in law that one can get
But I still respect you

I can never beat your cooking
But I do lit the stove every now and then

I can never forget when your result came out
We did not share with anyone
Your son's world turned upside down
And I can only offer him my support and my prayer

It was such an awkward moment when you request for me to bathe you
Little that I know that the next bath was when you where lying breathlessly

I remember that last look
The look in your eyes when I told you I had to go back to the office
You can no longer talk but you smiled and waived me goodbye
The last goodbye as I was the last family member to see you alive

I hope I leave you nothing except good memories
And I wouldn't want to remember anything except your kindness
Took me a while and I am only able to write these after more than 3 months of your passing
And we still talk about you, keep you in our prayers.. everyday without failed

I can no longer write ma...
it just hurts to acknowledge the fact that you have gone to a better place

Al-Fatihah buat mama
12 August 2015

Note to my mother

Mak, my apologies for expressing this. I never have the intention to break your heart.

Mak, You  wonder why don't I buy myself a brand new car…..
The 11 year old German stallion is still our pride despite of its age and condition... and the minivan that bapak is driving is still our happy ride.

Mak, you were asking why I wasn’t chauffeured driven like my friends..
Honestly mak, I would love too. Who doesn't kan ;p

Mak, you were asking why I do not buy designer handbags, wear expensive jewelery, branded clothing and all.
I don’t need them mak. I’m happy with my handbags though they are a little outdated. In fact I think I have too many of them already. They may not be Hermes and the fact that I do not have to pay for them indicates that I am blessed with love. Clothes? You know how kedekut-stingy I can be when buying my own attire (but not for the kids)

Mak, you were asking why I didn’t upgrade my house.
The truth is mak, the  house is already too quiet and feeling empty without you in it. I am sorry that the house can no longer accommodate your needs. I will arrange for a way so that the house is friendly enough for your wheel chair.

Mak, you were asking why can’t I live a life like the them..
Continuous upgrade of their cars, home, glamorous life, etc...
Even if I work harder I will not be able to reach there kot mak. BUT praise to Allah, our life is still much better than before….we can still afford to go for annual overseas trip and a nice makan2 kan?

Mak, I am sorry if I’m not able to meet your expectation.
I wish I could give you more.. like a business class seats for our every trip, a 5 star hotel for our holiday, chit chatting with you, take you for high tea every day, send you and bapak for umrah every year.

Mak, I have not once shed  tears in your presence since you got sick.
But I do weep in the car park, in surau or whenever there's no one around.

I pray that you will get well soon mak. Cepat sembuh and able to stand on your feet again mak.
It’s just killing me to see you like this. I just missed your Quran recitation after each prayer.
I promise I will not go emotional whenever you are dissatisfied with my little achievement.

I have always the one that troubled you so much. I may not display my compassion as the rest of the brothers but I do care. I may not be kind with my words at times and I do admit I am feeling a bit sad when you belittled my contribution..

May Allah answer all your prayers, shower you with His countless blessings, protect you always.
Love you mak.
Forever and always.
Forgive me for my wrongdoings and please do keep me in your prayer, like always.

Love always
Your only daughter

p/s: sorry I do not post our pic whenever we hanging out or holiday-ing, or express my words publicly like others.. Ini pun first attempt nih.I have failed miserably.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

A conversation in the lift today

Woman   : Hi Boss
Big Boss : Hi, where are you going?
Woman  : Training
Boss      : Training apa? Training marah orang ka?
Woman  : Owh, itu training is best to learn from you.
Boss      : This girl never learn anything from me even after 5 years. (while pointing at me)
Me         : Who say I don’t? I do.
Woman : May be because she has a soft heart
Me        : NO, because I learn only the good thing from him.
Boss     : I thought I teach you all the good things?
Me        : Ya..BUT the bad way. I only consume good things, the good way.

(Utter silence)

*habislah bonus aku* there goes my bonus....

My Office's Chill Pill

Monday, November 16, 2015

Maki Maki

maki sushi is the only maki I am able to consume
other maki is truly unacceptable.

please save your maki and lets spread the positive vibes peeps!
I promise to always look for the good in bad times
like a saying, even a dead clock will strikes the correct time twice a day.

Translation Malay->English
maki            = to abuse
maki hamun = insults
maki sushi   =sushi cuisine

..and the going gets tough

I stumbled upon my last posting..that was merely 8 months back.
Allah has put me to a greater trial subsequently after the posting.
I broke down. Fell apart.

"..we have wronged our ownself.."

al araf (7:23)

Friday, July 03, 2015

March, please be kind to me

25th March 2015
I keep telling myself 'dun sweat the small stuff' or 'Allah will not put one to test beyond what one can bear'. Those are ayat2 penguat jiwa, to thickens my patience, to remind myself how grateful I should be. BUT there are little test in life that tend to tickles my patience. Geli2 sikit je but too many tickles can heighten the temperature too..:p.

If Allah swt put me to it, HE will get me through it. InsyaAllah.
Happy Belated 24th bithday Huslina.

p/s: 24 la sangattt

Sunday, March 01, 2015

Loss for word

My instinct was right
Saya rasa tak sedap hati ..
hence I met up with Nur & Alin that Wednesday to activate the plan to fly to Brunei to visit her

She keep sending her progress thru whatpps to update us about her condition
Until one day when it was her other half that responded the to us..
She was already unconscious

We were too late
She left us on 25th Feb 2015, Wednesday, 7:35am

Sharifah.. tenanglah kau di sana kawanku
You have been loved
so much love
and I wish I will be remembered by our friend as much as they did to you


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