Saturday, February 20, 2010

Off mating season?

Imej ihsan google

I've blogged about this couple of years back, just have to say this..., the 'season' is on again..!!
A recent tele-conversation with a friend goes like this...

'..Ok, bye for now..send my regards to your missus'..
' & missus are no longer toghether Nana!, we've got divorce last week!'

My thinking was, wah! he was saying it happily.. sukanye dia! (2 months after that, an accidental bump in a photographer website explained the whole thing..) Off late many marriages ended tragically.. it hurts, because those are the people I know.. :(.. and it scares the hell out of me.

Let's go through the list of common reason that came to these 2 ears. (Ini adalah pendapat peribadi semata-mata, tiada dipengaruhi mana-mana pihak):-

1) Irreconcilable differences
Hard to accept, why? sebab bercinta macam nak rak bertahun-tahun, marriage last when the little kid only started teething?

2) 'Third Party'
There is a saying 'cinta itu buta' ... Yup, love overcomes any obstacle along the journey. But one has never think that they are that mangkuk obstacle for other people. Why must you be selfish & break a happy family lar?

3) Career?
OOohhh please, ... why must you neglect your family to pursue this? For God swt's sake my friend, please do think of our children. (ker, alasan jer diaorang nih?)

4) Money$$$$$
Errr... my money is my money? your money is my money? (Abg Joned, I love you!)

5) Long distance relationship
It works for some couple, which actually strenghten their love, but for some it's an opportunity, an opening to meet 'new' faces which resulting the loved one back home badly hurts :(

6) Late bloomers
Well some of them tak sempat 'har-ya' during the younger days kot, or probably because of financial stabilility at this age, enable one to afford to those 'happening' places. Lupa dunia, lupa loved ones? You'd be surprised how some still have the energy boogeeying all night long and work the next day.

7) Fate
Yup, overcome this one statement that he was 'fate' to remarry (but part yg divorce yang lama bukan lak 'fate'? Haih, susah nak cakap.)

8) Salah kita
Yup...contohnye; for wifey like me yang not be able to cook, jaga makan minum hari-hari, tak manja2 to our other half (Hi sayang!)~I was told if we do not take care of our loved ones kang orang lain lak yang amik kesempatan (alasan...)

Those are among the common one yang dengar ESPECIALLY number (2).. (Yup Wani: Kekasihku gelap ok but kekasih gelapku tu mmg cari nahas)... but how true it is I wont know, because we are the outsider je..

Partly happy to see the single mother and father moved on happily..but also sedih to see some values disappear entah ke mana for some; but my concern is more towards the children :(
Few of them even 'moved on' even merrier compared to when they were married. Alhamdulillah..

Kita merancang, Tuhan SWT menentukan...,takdir. I pray for this marriage to last forever, and for my hubby to be my soul mate dunia akhirat.. (I thayang you..mmuah!) We cant beat the fate, but at least we can try to hold on, to be patience, to be strong to defend our marriage.

For my friends, praying for the best for all of you.. (like most of them said 'blessing in disguise'),,..and for those who have been given a second chance..may this one last forever, InsyaAllah.

Make love people, not war!

p/s: a tip from Fadhil@Godale to male friends 'bila rasa macam nak menggatal, ingat muka anak, it will automatically put you off and bring you back to reality'... yer ker?

Friday, February 19, 2010

I’m BAD, I’m BAD!

(Those who have closely follow my blog would understand what this entry is all about..)

Oooohh I’m so bad,
Posting my heart out
Not using my mind
Till cause some hardship
To the unintended one
(Refering to rumah ‘Kota Damansara’ which addressed to KAKAK itu but cousin pulak terasa-nangis katanye. BTW KAKAK itu pun has already send one of her kids to some elite private school, yeay!)

Ooooh I’m so bad
Calling people’s name in my blog
For clearing the gossiping about my loved ones
But end up I am the one seeking an apology
Even though the juicy story is about me
(Refer to ‘Lita’ story.. shouldn’t I stand by my love ones?)

Ooooh I’m so bad
For standing by my principle out loud
Not knowing what the impact would be
For being silence all my life
Until I post something in this space
(Refer to the silence mode..kekadang lupa “cheraken” ayat nenek!)

Ooooh I’m so bad
For letting them talking about me
For causing them leaving provoking comments in my blog
For not having any feelings towards their action
And for letting time heal the emotion
(Refer to the keep hearing news ?)

Ooooh I’m so bad
For keep praying the good things for them?
And wishing them that they get what they want?
For them to be happy with life ahead?
For more wealthy years?
With less tears?

Yup, sentiasa include them in my prayers after solat, my doa semoga mereka bahagia, sejahtera dunia akhirat, for their business to success and semua yang baik2 …Frankly speaking, I do not know how to satisfy this part of flesh and blood..(I hope people are not praying for my world to tumble down to provide their happiness). Minta maak sekali lagi. The reason I’m posting this because I realize that I made a big mistake for reacting to whatever statement that reach my ears. InsyaAllah, I will take the silence mode again.. hopefully my thick skin will also applicable to my ears after this. Haih,.. ntah la….

I have always been told “ to reach for the stars – never let anyone destroy your dreams, your self-respect, or your family. You are worth as much as your ideals and principles..” and this is something that I’d like to impart to my children.

May Allah swt bless us all.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

May be? May be not?

FB reconnects me with many friends around the globe..and I always wonder how does it feel to be away from home for so long like them. In the recent trip to Dubai, we met another Malaysian friends working there..and like others, they share their experience working in foreign land.

I would say that my brother's departure to oil land is a different situation.. I guess he made the decision partly because he knows that our parents are in the good hand of the remaining siblings back home; abang, nami & myself (puji sendiri)
Can I be like them? I don’t think so.. (penghijrahan kawan2 ke Kulim pun sudah cukup meng'teruja'kan kan saya) And I remember having sleepless nite when other half were reconsidering the Bahrain's offer. Why not? Let me see, my list goes like this:-

1) Called me old fashioned but I need to be surrounded by parents, brothers, sisters, in laws, nephew nieces.. I already spend many years fulfilling the 'educational' requirement..and it's time to stay put (think I made the right decision not accepting the Aussie offer lepas SPM dulu )

2) Majority of the people working abroad says "we dont have our family here, our friends are our family" if everyone practice this, what happens to flesh and blood punya family? Saya mahu jadi the orang yang tinggal itu yang dapat both family & friends..

3) They quote " keep us connected" .. but to me, Skype still won't be able to walk your sick mother to the clinic..

4) For some, it is partly an advantage having to skip many rounds of wedding, kenduris, birthdays etc. That is why they have ample time to have holiday in other country, weekends fill with gathering, bbqs with other expat etc. Balik kampung (Malaysia) is just like a must annual trip.

5) Another plus point from my fren in foreign land "Our children will be independent, and meet people from different corners of the world." Yup, this will partly influenced one upbringing,..but I prefer (again) to be surrounded with love..(ala. dah besar nanti bule jumpa/keje ngan omputih gak cam saya.., hi hi..). Quote from newspaper cutting which feature my brother:-
“..Besides that, they actually expose their children to challenges no words can describe nor books can teach, but eventually this will make these Malaysians more tolerant and better strategists, to avoid failure and the unlikely consequence of survival in a foreign land..”

*wait a minute.. who says by staying put not challenging enough? Malaysian education system is still more exam/paper based which make it harder compares to practical/project based in other country...*

6) One said “..observe FOREX for this currency against ringgit, the rate is going up.. !!you should consider working here Nana!".. looking at the glass half empty it would actually sound like this "..wishing the ringgit is going down". (Tak baik tau, orang2 Malaysia pun nak gi jalan2 oversea jugak, kalau ringgit jatuh it means higher cost for malaysian).

7) Kat oversea tak ada asam laksa yg sedap macam kat Malaysia!!!!

8) If everyone’s going off shore, KL will end up like Heathrow airport (full of Indians) and Dubai (Pilipino). Bibik2 dan mat2 bangla will surely dominate the city!. ( It’s OK, I know there will still people like me and mat salleh foreign like my boss to be here..)

9) Ada orang cakap “..ala Nana tak mau pegi mana2 coz dia nak parents dia look after her children..” eerrr.. just cant find a better way to explain this, nanti kena hentam lagi ~(Thank you mak & bapak for taking care of my kids)

There I said it. My mouth are just too heavy to say the above whenever my expat friends ask me or other half to consider working abroad..This is my stand for now. I may have DIFFERENT opinions say 2, 3 years (or may be faster) down the road. Mana lah tau there’s a big opening (i.e Bagi Porshe sebijik, mansion sebelah David Beckham ker? Atau makcik laksa buka cawangan kat New York ker?) Who knows I may just leave everything behind and fly!!!! But I hope if that happens, I will be rich enough to bring my family (parents, parents in-law..) along.
Rasanya kalau mampu, let those foreign land remain as 'holiday destination' ajer la..
Pics: Desert Safari dinner in Dubai..memang best! Tapi to think of seafood dinner kat Muara Sg Duyung Melaka tadi, (to be exact; ikan bakar, sotong celup tepung, butter prawn, sweet sour..) phuh!..

Sunday, February 07, 2010 feels good to be here again..

My 10 days middle east escapade has finally ends. I am home.
The place I belong.

I had fun & I think the pictures in my fb explained everything... The last minute travel plan was smooth alhamdulillah (but I think my parents would be serik to travel with my 3 kiddies again)...and just soo happy to see Uncle Lan & family.

Arab land was sure an expensive country. Dubai was truly a cosmopolitan city while Kuwait is far from what I imagined. The land was filled with hummer, lamborghini & Ferraris!

Will write more bout my trip.. still jetlagging (kerana orang jakun ini sudah lama tidak 'terbang'). Seronoknya da balik..especially when laksa is just a few minutes away :)


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